To give you an idea of how different life is here…
Today I went to the supermarket without either of the kids. I rode my bike there, browsed the aisles for 20 minutes and came home. Then I took off my hat, coat and gloves and put them all away neatly. The I went to the kitchen and unpacked the groceries. Then I went to the toilet. Finally I sat down, took the baby from the Ayi and fed him. Then I played with him for 20 minutes, then gave him back to the Ayi and made myself hot chocolate and came upstairs to write this (with both my hands).
Here’s how the same story would have gone in Germany:
Went to the supermarket with both kids. We walked down Kölnerstr. and then rushed around the supermarket. The kids are whinging and I need to get home and use the toilet! Of course I forgot a few things so I stopped at the drugstore and Turkish market on the way home. Lukas started crying before we got home, so as soon as we got into the building I took him out of the stroller and then argued with Em for five minutes about walking up the stairs. I eventually picked them both up and carried them upstairs. Got into the flat and took off Lukas’s coat and hat, then Em’s coat, hat, gloves and boots, then my coat. All left in a pile in the hallway to put away later because Lukas is by this point screaming. Em says she wants something to eat, so I quickly grab a yoghurt from the fridge and give it to her and hope she doesn’t make a mess.
Then I sit down and feed Lukas. Then I change Lukas’s nappy and make Em sit on the potty, which as per usual takes 20 minutes. Lukas winds up coming into the bathroom with me because he’s getting tired and cranky so doesn’t want to be on his own in the living room. Finally, Em’s done so we wash her hands and get her dressed. Then I get Lukie ready for his nap and put him down. After about 15 minutes and 3 visits he’s asleep.
Then it’s time for Em to have some lunch, so I make her a bowl of pasta and sit her in her chair. Then I remember the defrosting groceries which I left in the stroller downstairs. Making Em promise to stay in her chair, I bolt down the stairs and grab all 4 of the heavy bags and lug them upstairs. Thankfully Em has not gotten out of her highchair and I unpack the groceries while she eats. The I clean her up and send her to play in the living room.
Then I remember – toilet! So I finally get to go to the toilet, with Em giving a running commentary the whole time. Then we play together for a while and finally she goes to have her nap too. I go down to the laundry and retreive a wet load of laundry and put on another one. Come upstairs and make myself a sandwich.
I’m eating my sandwich when I hear Lukie wake up. Well, he’s been down for over an hour, I guess it’s time for him to get up. Gobble down the sandwich and hope that he’ll be happy for long enough for me to fold the load of laundry that’s currently on the drying rack and hang out the new load. Maybe tonight I’ll get a chance to update the blog.
OK, so it might sound a bit crazy but that is how it was in Germany – I was really really busy and there were always things piling up that I hadn’t done yet (note how the coats never got hung up in the above story?). It wasn’t impossible and I did have great days hanging out with the other mums in Düsseldorf (where virtually no housework, cooking or grocery shopping got done) but life was so much more stressful. I don’t know how I’ll ever go back to living in the real world bow that I’ve experienced the joys of having an Ayi.
Just to verify, to the readers who are mums too, this story doesn’t sound over the top does it? It’s pretty realistic as far as I can remember.
Comments (12)
Man, I thought that was Steve writing that until the second last paragraph!! I was about to call him out on it!!
How’s living with an Ayi? I’m intrigued about it all. The kids here all have them and I blame the Ayis for the lack of discipline in them. The kids walk all over them in HK.
Comment by ColinG — December 10, 2009 @ 1:34 pm
Having an Ayi is great. I’m pretty wary of Em getting spoiled and being horrible to the Ayi so I’m always telling her to say Please and Thank You and to clean up her own toys. She’s still really little so she’s OK for the moment, we’ll have to see how it develops. At the moment it is a real bonus having an Ayi, I’m so much less stressed out. And I could go back to work (planning on teaching English in the city and sub and Steve’s school after the Christmas break) much more easily than in Germany. Once the kids are both in full-time school the Ayi will be doing less childcare and more housework.
The main thing for me is that I don’t need to look after both kids all the time. It can just be me and one kid, or me and no kids. If they were both asleep at home in Germany I was stuck there, here I can go out to the shops or even meet up with some friends. The flexibility is amazing! But it’s totally spoiling me! Sometimes its almost like I don’t have kids at all! But it’s great for Steve to come home from work and we can play with the kids together rather than one of us trying to whip up dinner and everyone being all stressed out.
I really don’t know how we’d adjust back to the real world, at least not until the kids are both in school full-time.
Comment by The Organiser — December 10, 2009 @ 1:59 pm
Well ColinG I realised it wasn’t Steve at the 2nd sentence ie ‘put the hat and coats away’.
Comment by Pop — December 10, 2009 @ 2:00 pm
Ok I had to google what an Ayi was … sorry for the ignorance (think I am catching it from the yanks)
Is your Ayi living with you or just part time?
Comment by Dennis — December 10, 2009 @ 10:10 pm
Sorry – we should put up a list of Chinese vocabulary!
Our Ayi doesn’t live with us but is full-time, i.e. 40 hours a week. That costs us 2000RMB a month or €200, I’m not sure the exchange rate for US$ but it’s dirt cheap!
Comment by The Organiser — December 10, 2009 @ 10:51 pm
Struth Dennis next you will tell us you have a Yank accent and pronounce the letter U as O in things like Tube – toob, duke – dook etc.
Comment by Pop — December 11, 2009 @ 3:51 am
I miss the discussions with M about going up the stairs at our old place. I can’t believe she never fell down them though; I’ve lost count of how many times she’s fallen down the stairs here.
Comment by ZM — December 11, 2009 @ 7:07 am
I hate to ruin your memories ZM, but Em did fall down the stairs in Düsseldorf numerous times. It was surprisingly few times but it probably happened about 3 times. We were just lucky each time that it wasn’t very far!
Comment by The Organiser — December 11, 2009 @ 8:17 am
Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.
Comment by Zombie Master — December 11, 2009 @ 2:05 pm
Words you live your life by, right ZM?
Comment by Robert — December 11, 2009 @ 6:49 pm
Those words are my epitaph. I have the headstone picked out and everything.
Alex is gonna have: People need to realise that there is a decision making process.
Comment by ZM — December 12, 2009 @ 8:45 am
I love the last one!
I think the major difference in your lives is that you have taken a big jump up the relative income pyramid. Take your position now and multiply your salaries in Germany by that. Think of where you could have lived, what staff you could have had….. not bad, eh. I’d like that too….. We could have gone and had our nails done together, hahaha!
I am glad you are enjoying your freedom. I’d be happy in anyone in our house came up with the idea of hanging up coats, hats or gloves
Comment by Yvee — December 17, 2009 @ 8:11 pm