Saaga

Lukas Arthur Snell was born this morning at 4:21. He weighed 3310g and was 52 cm long. Alex and Lukas are both doing well apart from being tired.

Don’t read on past this point if you don’t want to hear all about poo. You have been warned. So to continue: Our daughter has magic poo.

I suppose I have known about this for a long time, but it only just dawned on me about five minutes ago. The reason M’s poo is magical resides in its properties. Outwardly M’s poo resembles any ordinary* variety of poo. All the regular characteristics are there; colour, shape, consistency and smell, all feature in the standard range, with occasional ventures by consistency and smell into the extraordinary range. However the stickiness is where the magic lies.

Regular poo, when you get rid of it is a gamble whether it is going to require a toilet brush to make it as if it never was. Some people have stickier poo than others and some have the Teflon coated stuff that requires no brush and hardly any paper either. M on the other hand manages to produce a different kind of poo. Every time it goes into the bowl, the bowl needs to be cleaned afterwards. Sometimes, even after a flush, the offending matter is still there, clinging on like spiderman and daring one to touch it with bristles and thereby destroy a perfectly innocent toilet brush.

That’s it. M has magic poo. The proof is in the pudding.
*shudder*

*I didn’t say garden variety becacause then the implication is that it will turn white on the lawn.

If life is discovered elsewhere in the galaxy, what does that do to Christian Mythology? What does it do to any or all of the worlds belief systems?

I have finished the first week of my crazy diet and I really stuck to it quite well despite feeling hungry all the time for the first three days. I just weighed myself and I have lost three kilograms, which surprised me because I expected to lose only one. Go go crazy diet. Mighty morphin crazy diet!

I have tickets to Fortuna vs. Union Berlin on Sunday and it is going to be awesome for many reasons. The city is hyping it up as Berlin Air vs Düsseldorf Water/River* and has put signs up everywhere to this effect. The Fan Projekt have got together and done a promotional postcard/flyer campaign all over town with the aim of having more than 25000 fans in attendance.

Aside from all that, Berlin is 1st and we are 3rd and a win could almost guarantee us a spot is the play off for 2nd league next season.

Go Fortuna!

* I’m sure I missed the point.

If your name is Emily then this is a Maa:

We went for a walk through the Volksgarten the other day and found the mini farm they have their. M happily pointed out all the Maas to us, but she couldn’t find any Horchies.

Here is a hypothetical for you:
You are one and a half years old and sitting in your high chair, when by your own actions a bunch of sultanas fall to the ground. You saw one land by the leg of the chair and another by the heater behind the chair. You saw two roll under the table and one bounce and then land behind the chair your father is sitting on whilst trying to fee you. Which Sultana do you indicate that you want?

If you think about it for long enough the answer is clear. You want the one that no one can see because it went underneath the shelves and will possibly never be found by anyone unless they move those same (heavy) shelves.

I often think about deleting my facebook account. Maybe I will instead just delete a few of the people on there so I don’t have to listen to their banal, attention whoring bullshit anymore. One person, who sometimes used to play football with us on Sundays, thinks she is the most beautiful, wonderfully angst ridden, gift to the world. Another is the brother of a friend of mine who thinks he is a comedian and should therefore fill my home page with lame (normally smutty) jokes.

I’m sure neither of them read this blog so I can vent here without hurting their feelings. I think a bunch of people will be able to identify the first one, but not many will work out the second one. End rant.

I saw lots of people yesterday and three of them stuck in my mind:

There was a tall girl in the grocery store who was wearing heels. She would have been just about as tall as me with the heels on and without them I think maybe six or seven centimeters shorter. I wonder why she was wearing heels. Maybe she just likes them. With them on she was taller than the guy she was with who was probably Two meters tall.

In the orthopedic surgery waiting room there was a girl that was the largest person I have ever been within a meter of. Her thigh was far bigger around than my torso. Clearly the reason she was at the orthopede was similar to mine; her body was damaging itself due to dimensions

The guy in the printer cartridge refill store was interesting looking (tall, thin and black deadlocked) but the fact that he extended my visit to the shop by ten minutes by
talking (ranting) to me about World of Warcraft and how he loves/is addicted to it was what made him memorable.

It was two physical extremes and one weird conversation that made me remember (and blog about) these people and also gave me pause to reflect upon the reactions people have when they meet me. I get lots of comments about how tall I am and while I am sick to my very non existent soul by them, I understand why people feel compelled to ask the questions that I have literally heard hundreds of times before.

Tancred and I went to watch Duisburg play Mainz on Friday night; a guy Tancred met during the world cup supplied the tickets. He was a nice enough fellow, but when we were talking about the difference between Duisburg’s stadium and LTU Arena (where Fortuna plays) he was unable to see through his bias. He made all manner of outrageous claims of the superiority of MSV’s ground over LTU. For some reason, having a capacity of 20000 more than another stadium is a bad thing.
Apart from wierd one eyed stadium comments the game was entertaining and we stood in the fan kurve with the ultras. The fan kurve is good (better than LTU actually) because it is made without seating and so only the ‘real’ fans want to go there. The other thing that I thought was better than LTU Arena was the beer. MSV Arena serves my favourite beer, while at LTU I have to put up with Warsteiner.

Yesterday we went to LTU to watch Fortuna play. Another good game, but a disappointing one one score line. When we got into the Arena, Tancred look around and was heard to say,
“Grant is mad if he even thinks MSV Arena comes close to this.” I had to agree with him, except for I would qualify and say that he loves his team and so is blinded to the obvious deficiencies of things related to it, especially when they are compared to those of a rival. Hmm, maybe I am actually being the subjective one here. But I don’t think so. I am never one to behave in that manner. hmmmmmmmmm…